So now I'm going to scare everyone...

Boo.

Nah, seriously, I will be a freaky appearance, since the look I've had for over 18 months, and the look that most people know me with is changing. I will temporarily be joining the fuzzy headed people with no facial hair. No, I'm keeping my eyebrows and lashes, just not much else in the way of headed hair.

Don't worry so much; it's always temporary. I'm just not in a show for the first time in about 4 years and the prospect of doing something to my hair without anyone being able to tell me no is too good an opportunity to just let go. And getting a haircut is kind of normal. So I'm buzzing it. I prolly won't like it, because I've never done it before, but who knows? The beard is also coming right back, but I thought while I was shaving one, I might as well shave the other too. Err, buzzing... you get the idea.

And I'm moving again, stopping by the old stomping grounds a week from yesterday, so if you're there, and you know who you are, you should be there so we can hang.

Even though you'll be freaked out at my crazy new look.

Later,

LB

So I've Been Busy...

So for all of you that still check this blog (can't imagine there are even too many of those), I'm just letting you know that I have been busy, but now that's almost done with, which means I'm moving, which means there will likely be less activity, and I'm going to be travelling a bit, and staying at home for a bit, which will further lessen activity, meaning I will likely keep up on this a bit, but don't expect novels... Not until I actually write and publish one of those anyway.

So the show I've been doing is almost over, and that's kind of a weird feeling, because I've done over 90 performances... lemme check... 98 to date, and that's if you don't count all the extra rehearsals, initial rehearsals, and whatnot. This is the last week, and that means I'll have done 104 total performances. Probably at least 112 total runthroughs (yeah, we didn't get enough of those, really). Heh. And now it's all coming to an end, and I'm moving once again... That's a little annoying just because I brought most of the furniture here, and don't really want to just get rid of it... Anyway, That's all one. As soon as I have it all figured out (I mean moving, not life) I'll feel better about the time I'll spend doing it.

So there's your update, and yes I started all the paragraphs with so.

So what?

LB

Food

I love food, but I've really come to hate preparing it (for just myself) and I hate spending money on it. The reason is simple. With my metabolism, I literally spend more money on food than I do on rent, and that's when I'm cooking for just myself which, when I eat properly, is a bazillion times a day. Seriously, I could eat what would be a meal for a normal person every hour of the blessed day.

Yay for me, right? I can eat so much and I don't gain any weight... I can eat anything I want (except for being allergic to chocolate)... Wondrous life. Not really. People don't realize how monotonous it can get (that word is monotonous... wow) to be eating constantly or starve. I literally get tired of chewing before I get full. I get busy working on something, and I keep having to stop so I can eat more food. I eat pasta by the 2 quart potfull, and I'm hungry again in a couple of hours. Starving, I dare say. I hate having to buy more food. Coming from a poorish family, I have problems spending money on food that's not seriously on sale. I have to go shopping at least once a week, bring back enough food for a family of four, and hope it lasts me until next week, which it only will if I starve myself. Making me somewhat malnourished, more cranky, and getting my stomach mad at me.

It's a conflicted viewpoint, because I do like having this metabolism but, unlike most people think, it does have it's downsides.

That said, I need to eat again.

Lone Barbarian

Speaking of Time...

I'm feeling like I'm out of time, but I'm not really sure why, since I'm going to be where I am for the next couple of months at least. I don't know. It's confusing in a freaking out sort of way. Like I've got too far to go and too little time to do it in, and I don't rightly know which way I'm going...

Timely

I was looking at my friends blogs, some of which haven't been updated in a long time, only to remember that it has been over a month since I last updated mine. So here you are.

There are nine of us total in this apartment, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers has officially opened (but there's still a grand opening tonight), and I'm finally starting to get paychecks for it, which is good because living off a credit card sucks (not to mention it was almost full).

Ummmmmmmmmmmm... What else to say... I have nothing to say. Nothing more right now anyway.

Wyoming

I'm in Wyoming. In case anyone cared and didn't know already.

It's kinda fun, rehearsals haven't started yet, and until everyone else arrives next week I have an apartment to myself. Honestly, though, there are a few little things that I'm not sure are going to work with 7 in the house.

1) The washer is a washer/dryer combo, which actually kinda sucks, because it's only big enough to do half-sized loads and it takes forever because there's only one machine, so A load takes some 1.5 to 2 hours to do. I am a lone man, and it's taking me multiple days to do laundry just because I don't have time to be putting in loads all day. Not sure how to fix this, since there aren't hookups for a real washer/dryer set in the apartment, and transporting laundry on a bicycle is just not reasonable.

2) The kitchen is smaller than the upstairs bathroom, which brings me to problem

3) The bathrooms are very small and have no – repeat - No storage space.

4) I suppose a pint sized dishwasher isn't too much of a problem if you're never there (like after rehearsals start), and I suppose it's really about the size of a mini-fridge rather than a pint, but that's all one.

5) Most all the furniture in here is mine. This wouldn't be a problem if it was just me, but I don't know how hard these 6 other people are going to be on my stuff. I got it for free, granted, but it's still my stuff, and I feel a certain attachment and responsability to it. I could make it a separate problem, but what the hay, the dishes and silverware here will likely be mostly mine, too.

6) The apartment came with plants. I don't know how to take care of plants properly, and I'm pretty sure I'll forget about them. They're like 5 different plants in here, and they all have rules about how much water, how often, and how much plant food they need. I don't want to kill them, and I'm going to try to look up info about them, but I'm not sure they'll survive the summer.

7) Shopping on a bicycle sucks. I just thought I'd add that. It wouldn't be so much of a problem for most, I suppose, especially since there's a great dollar store where you can get a lot - and I mean a lot - of stuff, but when you eat as much as I do, that's a lot of stuff to carry in one load. I'm finding myself going shopping 3-4 times a week. And unless you're in love with shopping, that sucks. And yes, it's too far to walk. The bad part is, once rehearsals start, I'm probably going to be eating out more often, since we'll be having 14 hour days until the show opens (which is 2 weeks after rehearsals start). Once the show opens, I should have a little more time, but we're still talking about shopping in the morning instead of afternoon or evening, since all of those will be taken up.

Yeah, I ended up listing some general problems instead of just those of overcrowding, but they are all real, and will likely affect all or at least most of us.

There are some nice things here, too:

1) I'll probably be a significant part in the shootout, and will be doing it every night, which means I'll be shooting guns every night in front of large audiences in the town square before the show. The downside is I won't be getting all those tips from waiting tables, but I think I'll get to do some of that still anyway.

2) I'm doing props for the show, which is some stress, but mostly it's pretty cool, and I might get some moola prolly for that in addition to everything else I'm getting paid for.

3) I'm already comfortable moving around town, know where most everything important is, and am already established in my apartment. I know where a lot of good places to eat are, where to avoid, and where to go shopping for stuff.

4) The Branch out here plans things around the actors, since there are so many here in the summer. That's cool, although, night hikes that last until 2 AM with rehearsal at 830 AM don't mix very well. Still, it's coo. (Yes, I dropped the L on purpose!)

5) I got some Orange Marmalade. How is that not cool?

6) We have a nice microwave. What bachelor place could be better than one with a good microwave?

7) I get to work with some crazyfun people.

There are always ups and downs to things mortal. Make sure you count at least as many ups as you do downs.

LB

Nudged

Nudges are interesting. Cool, but interesting.

Ever find yourself seeing the end of a path without seeing how to get to that end? And until then you're going off these nudges, that you know are going to get you there, but in the meantime, you can't quite see how.

On another note, I am surprised to see how well I've been keeping up on this. I know, I post maybe twice a month (on average), but frankly, it's more than I thought it would be. Heh.

Hamlet

Being an actor right after directing a show is funny. Interesting too. I already have a bunch of ideas for how I would direct Hamlet, or at least how I would play the character. Of course, I do that with just about every character in every show I'm in, so I guess it isn't really news; merely something to mention.

I have to admit, I'm sad that I'm leaving. There are people here I know and care about a lot, not to mention I still want to start a band, a production company, a theatre, and all that. And I know I can do those things elsewhere (and likely with even more success since the market here is bloated in those areas), I just know people I could do those things with here. But I'm going, and I need to make new friends, while keeping in touch with these ones, too.

I'm tired; 6am work and 6pm show, both at 5 hours a piece, doesn't really give you 8 hours to sleep ever. Funny that.

How disappointing.

Well, it's not like I didn't get cast, I mean, I got cast. Just not as the part I wanted. Heh. Not any of the parts I wanted. I got the old man. THE OLD MAN! I can't believe that in a "Professional Theatre" I once again got cast as the old man. Something I was distinctly told would not ever happen, because they can always get a real old man instead of me. Go figure. This did make me question their need to always give me those roles, since they were effectively a waste of my education time, but that is as they say that. I'm playing the old man when they could have gotten a real one instead. Let's hear it for the bit part actor (yay).

Notwithstanding all this annoyance, I do get to understudy the lead, and that's pretty cool. Actually I think understudying the part is much harder than actually getting to play it since you need to memorize two parts and blocking and song sets and makeup designs and costume plots and fight parts (if applicable) instead of just one. So I won't have the time, nor the attention from the director to develop my character as well as the actual lead will, nor will I have sufficient stage time with the girl I'll be playing opposite (unless she's an understudy who's playing the old woman – Hah!). I was just hoping to get the part I wanted. For Once In My Life. Nope, not yet. Not not not not not not not not yet. But there is always a reason for everything, so even though I'm whining about it right now, I realize that this is what has been decided, and there's nothing I can or should do to change it, because it happened this way for a reason. I just need to do my part. And the challenge will be good for me. Challenge is good. I like challenges. Especially in acting. So I should be happy for this.

Stop whining. Aah!

LB

I got call-BACK!

So I might actually get the first lead of my life. Discounting villains, of course. I don't want to get my hopes up too much; they do have two other cities to audition in, and those other cities may be LA and NY. But I'm still excited. If I get any of the main characters, I'll be happy. As long as I don't get Random Townsman in the Background, I should be okay. I've gotten tired of character roles, though I think those'll get me more work. I'll give an update as soon as I know.

Of course, there's a good chance that if I do get cast, I'll have to leave my other job a little early, since they'll want me to shave as soon as Twelfth Night is over, and I can almost guarantee that this show will insist that I keep the facial hair. The fact that the separation between one show and the next is only about a month doesn't help, since I usually need a good two to grow out a good beard. Heh. It's only a few weeks... Start saving now... As long as I have enough to move in, and keep up on food, I should be just fine. But nothing more can I spend than these necessities...

Yeah...
LB

Try reaching out.

I've actually come to the conclusion that people in general are afraid of risk. So the effort to connect isn't usually there unless there is a sufficient amount of common ground to stand upon. If you're the only one giving, then you find yourself standing on unfamiliar ground, where you can get easily knocked about. People don't like that, generally. Some live for it, sure, but they're few.

So if you have the luck of finding common ground with people, and can maintain that ground, then you're much more likely to connect with others around you. That's a good thing. Unless, of course, you are a psycho intent on ruining the lives around you while seeming like a helpless innocent bystander. Then that's bad, and you should never connect with anyone who can't at least ruin your life while you ruin theirs. But I digress.

If you stop reaching out, in my experience, you will find that few will reach out to you. So even though it's hard to connect and make friends beyond the casual, working, or school-related acquaintance, if you don't try, you will never succeed (though I will admit the possible exception of someone refusing to let you disappear into the night, as it were).

But I'm sure I'm doing something wrong, for others seem to connect just fine; they are all drawn to each other, and willingly seek each other out. I kind of feel like that doesn't happen very often, which may just be the pessimist in me. I don't know. Loneliness is an annoyingly whiny thing to write, and I'm sure it's worse to hear. So the real question is: What steps are you taking to fix this apparent problem? How does one improve the ability to reach out and connect with others? Do you find what seems to annoy others and squelch it? Do you change your belief system to mimic theirs? Do you mold yourself to fit in the whims of the society that surrounds you, participate in their humor, view their entertainment, and in all things follow their lead? It cannot be so. It goes against all I know to do any of those things. Well, turning down what annoys others may not be a bad idea, but I don't know that I'd even go very far with that, provided the things you do are not offensive in nature, but just little personality quirks. I don't mean anything serious. But stifling your modes of expression can only happen so much before you either go into depression or explode. Sometimes both.

It's easy. Sliding to try and fit in can be easy. But then it is by no means worth it, because you won't be yourself and you'll be cheating both you and your surroundings. Don't give in to that. Don't change who you are unless it's really for the better. Not for better acceptance; better life. Don't change your life unless you're improving your character. Becoming a better person. I felt I stooped a little today. Tried too hard. It's the facetious humor. Saying things you really don't mean just to be funny. Like sarcasm, but usually more ridiculous instead of biting.

Seriously though, how can you improve connection to people who stand on such different ground than you? If you can't learn that, then you're going to be alone. Unless you have that lucky ground that is common to most people, as previously mentioned. How are you going to do it?

Secure-socket handling connection timed out.

I would like to think I'm good at connecting with people...

Except that I know I'm not good at it at all. I'm probably one of those sorts that everyone assumes is well off socially, because "Well, it seems he's always surrounded by friends and that he knows everybody. And I mean everybody. And he's talented in a lot of different areas. Blah, blah. But there are times when he's just weird. I think it's in his humor. Like some of the things he does that he thinks are funny are really just on the creepy side. Like that whole Gollum thing. I mean, whoa, creepy. And he thinks it's funny." Stuff like that. Problem being that – just that– yes: I think Gollum is funny. But that's not the point I'm making. The point is that there really isn't a connected feeling to society around me. Like all my attempts to connect to people just time out. "Give it a try for a little while, but no, he's just a little too weird, and too much onstage all the time. Do you know how hard it is to connect to someone while it feels like they're performing all the time and you're in the audience?" No, I don't; I've never been there, to my memory. But I suppose I am onstage all the time. No. Most of the time... It's a part of my familial culture. Like in my brain I'm thinking yes, I may be onstage, but why are you in the audience? Come on up; let's work together. "No, there is no desire to step up on the stage; no one wants to share the stage with you (Not listening, not listening!); maybe if you try acting more realism instead of absurdism." Wait, this is more Screwball comedy than absurdism; I have a friend who'd know, she writes absurdism. "No matter. Real life is dramatic, tragic, and hellish. Not this wonderful musical comedy you've constructed." Well, my pessimistic friend, it's people like you who make people like me annoy people like you because people like me refuse to view the situation like people like you.

Hmm. I think this rambling is evidence of my apparent lack of sociality. Which doesn't make sense, because I interact with people all the time; I'm in two shows, I've auditioned for a third (crazy, crazy) and I talk and interact with people on all those occasions. Yes. Basic interaction is very important, and I'm glad I get that. But there is no deep discussion, no philosophical understanding reached, no establishment of bridges and ties to others. Deep discussion happens there, but on subjects I don't connect on. What? Some actor I am; "not a movie buff? You haven't seen that yet? That's a brilliant movie! I love that TV show. How can you have possibly been without TV for 12 years?" It's really not that hard, FYI. It's like on my mission: my companions always had an edge on relating to people because they had done normal things. I had a companion who was a wielder. Way cool. Most everyone in South America has some experience in construction and the like. Then they'd turn to me: "what do you do for a living?" I'm an actor. A singer. "Oh." and then they'd go back to talking and ignore me. It was that way with most of the missionaries too. "This man is weird. Just weird." Their words.

I suppose it all goes back to my childhood, where (at the time) I found myself surrounded by people who seemed mainly driven by materialism and social conformity. Not quite my cup of tea. So I decided I didn't want to be like them. So I wasn't. And I haven't been. And it actually bothers me sometimes, because while I still don't want to be like everyone else, I don't want to be different for different's sake, nor do I want to be alone, because let's face it; being alone sucks. But I can't change and be like everyone else, because that often goes against my principles. There are things I will never want to do. There are movies I will probably never see. There are subjects I will not willingly tread.

And now it's taken six years to get the kind of friendships and connections that I have. And these are but shadows compared to what they could be, what they are to other people, and what I would like them to be. I am surrounded by friends and other good people, but I am alone. I know so many people, but so few of them really know me. If I am not the center of attention, I could disappear, and who'd would notice? or care? It almost feels like a fight for existence; like I have to fight for attention from the world around me or else I will cease to exist to them at all. As it is I have a tenuous existence. That of a popular mechanical toy. Entertaining, strange, not entirely understood, and somehow not real. It will always be there to sing a song, rattle off some obscure quote, or agree with someone as they make a valid point. But it's not something you have to pay any attention to. Why bother? It seeks it out on it's own. Put a coin into the machine and watch it dance... sort of... I wonder what could possibly be going on in the inner workings of that thing?

And I suppose the saddest thing of all is that I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way. In fact, to one degree or another, I'm sure most people don't really feel connected to society around them, and that's why we all want to try and fit in somehow; find our place in this world; our niche, our little pocket. Find friends and connect with them. Ignore what doesn't fit your world and maybe it'll go away.

Well maybe, this time, it will.

Done, not done, not sure, and sure

I'm done with School.

At least, I'm done for now. I think I would like to go to grad school, but I'm prolly gonna take a year off first, work, try to actually accomplish something while I'm here, write, compose, act, sing, fight, and if I work really hard, maybe make a movie or something exciting like that.

First though, I need to get a job...

Yet I'm not done here. I'm done with schooling here, but I'm not done being here. It just doesn't feel like it's time for me to leave this area yet, though I'm not sure what I have to do. Something I know, but I'm just not certain what.

One thing I have learned (again) in my time thinking after graduation: One cannot claim to be a victim of circumstances. Indeed, there are few who can, and they are usually the ones in Murder Mysteries who invariably get framed for the crime. No, we cannot claim victimhood, because it lies within us to accomplish anything. Are you missing a connection with people because they aren't connecting, or because you are afraid to reach out? Not engaged yet, but are you dating? Have a movie idea, but no funding. Have you gone in search of donors? Do you pitch the idea to people who could fund it? Do you feel as if you are missing but a few things in your life and if only you had the money... Have you looked at all the honorable paths? I'm not talking about robbing or swindling, I'm talking about work, collaboration, and pitching your cause. If you feel you have no support for your goals, go out and get it. Can't tell if a girl (or guy) likes you... Have you asked them? I didn't say there were easy solutions to dream barriers, only that there were possible ones. I think we need to get off our duffs (there's an archaic word) and get busy!

On that note, I'm getting some food.

LB

Betrayal

Betrayal is bad in and of itself, since it assumes such an action comes from a perceived friend. The difficulty is when you perceive that the betrayal is even somewhat unintentional. If people had any idea how much they affected others, perhaps they would be a little more careful, less selfish, and a little more willing to be understanding of others and their circumstances.

But we are all prone to be selfish – and self-preserving. It's easy to think about one's self, rather than about others; that requires a risk. And you can't please everyone, so who do you say no to? Who gets the downside? Who has to suck it up? Those are the really hard decisions, and sometimes one makes mistakes, and wishes they had gone the other way. Nothing to be done now, one can't look into the past and change it at will - one cannot change it at all.

Happiness, Miss Piggy!

I like that song.

Ever notice the classic theatrical symbol of the Happy Sad Faces? Supposed to stand for drama and comedy, I suppose. Points up the contrasts of human life, since art imitates life (which imitates art - whole other discussion). Interesting things, contrasts; in my experience it has always been easier to notice one of the contrasts than the other. Criticism over praise, complaints over excitement, sorrow over joy, drama over comedy, sickness over health, bitterness over thankfulness.

That is annoying, since we seem to notice not that which makes us happy, but that which brings us down. Counting your blessings is an important thing, therefore, as it can help us to maintain the perspective we need to go on.

It's Apple Pies that make the men folk's mouths to water!!

But I'm making pumpkin pies this time.

So I started out with a friend of mine, and we cut the 13.83 lb. pumpkin (named Poor Hogbrain), scooped out his brains, and we baked him for about 30 min at 350° or until soft. Then after we let him cool off, we scooped out his insides and tossed them into a blender along with eggs (2 eggs for every cup of pumpkin). That was about 18 cups of pumpkin, and therefore about 36 eggs. That's a lot of eggs. Funny because I bought 5 dozen, so I still have a bunch left over.

Anyway, then you add milk (1 cup), and cream (1/3 cup), Ginger and Cinnamon (1 tsp each), salt, and 1/2 cup of Brown Sugar (all measurements are per 1 cup of pumpkin, except the spices). That, all mixed together, is the basis for Pumpkin Pie, in case anyone was wondering...

Pour that into a pie tin that you've already filled with a crust (unbaked) and place into an already preheated oven (350° again) and bake for 45 to 60 minutes.

Last night I made 8 pies. Many hours of work.

But the thing is, I only used 6 cups of pumpkin, so it should have only made 6 pies. Was it because I was using large eggs? I don't know, but I think I oughtta tell mother that the bulk (3 pie) recipe really makes 4... Or maybe I'm not filling them up enough.

But I'm excited; the estimation of 24 pies from a single pumpkin makes me happy. Couldn't really begin to tell you why, but it does.

Yay for Holidays.

LB

A New Post

I don't really have much to say here, except that it's been a while since I last posted, and I thought that the last subject was getting kind of old.


Soooooo...


Thanksgiving's next week. I'm excited; I'm making Pumpkin Pies. Out of fresh pumpkin. Yes, I bought one a while ago, and it is going to make many, many pies. In theory. I can't say for certain how many, but the last time I did this it made like 14. But it was a particularly thick pumpkin, and I don't know how thick this one is. I do know it's almost 14 pounds of yummy pumpkin-ness, but that's it.

I may need to buy more tins again...

LB

Marriage in USA moving to Minority?`

Here's something I read on the news:

"The American Community Survey, released this month by the Census Bureau, found that 49.7 percent, or 55.2 million, of the nation’s 111.1 million households in 2005 were made up of married couples — with and without children — just shy of a majority and down from more than 52 percent five years earlier."

Wow. Pretty sad, really. Later on though they said something I found amusing:

"The proportion of married couples ranged from more than 69 percent in Utah County, Utah, which includes Provo, to 26 percent in Manhattan, which has a smaller share of married couples than almost anyplace in the country. But Manhattan registered a 1.2 percent increase in married couples since 2000, in contrast to the rest of New York City and many other places."
-- To Be Married Means to Be Outnumbered
By SAM ROBERTS
The New York Times

I thought it was interesting, though not at all surprising that Provo, Utah county, Utah has the highest percentage of married couples in the USA. There is a reason they call it Happy Valley. Hah. I guess I should mention that that's still only 69%. So it doesn't mean everyone there is getting married. Actually it doesn't even mean necessarily that many of them are. And now I'm ruining my own joke. I'm done now.

LB

Heroes

I find the Human Psyche interesting... Within men is a desire to fix things. A woman comes to a man to discuss problems or issues she has with events or other people or something, and then gets upset because the guy offers advice for how to fix the problem, or offers alternative points of view and other philosophies to clear things up. She gets upset because most often the woman merely wants someone to listen to her, and not try to effect a change in her. Most guys miss that idea.

Reason? The men love to fix problems, and the idea of stewing over a difficulty without an attempt to remedy the situation is most often a foreign concept to them.

But it moves to a deeper level than just that. Men want to fix everything; make everything right. This even goes to emotions, causing the man to attempt to squelch or control his own so that he may at least appear strong and thus able to play the hero to any damsels in distress ("Dis dress, dat dress, who cares? I'm distraught!"*). Also, if said "hero" hears a female friend of his complain of not having a boyfriend or other male attention, there is quite often an urge to see if there is a way to remedy even that. Not by finding a date for them, or any attempt to find the perfect man for them. No, he will often attempt to reason in his own mind if he may not be the one to end her solitude. This isn't thought in any prideful, disdainful, or creepy way, but rather is in the hope of fixing the problem. Most men love to be the hero, and would love to be the answer to some girl's prayers. So they investigate the potentiality of such a match, resulting in a mini-crush on her as they identify key similarities and differences before arriving at the decision that they're best off remaining as just friends. Fortunately, most often this assessment of prayer-answering-ability is done within the male's own mind, and thus rarely throws any cogs into the woman's gears.

What if he was the perfect guy for her? Then he would (and should) ask her out (after he attains an understanding of the potentiality). If he doesn't see it, then... well... we'll have to hope for the best. If they're really perfect for each other then they both should see that something's possible. But that's not what I'm trying to discuss.

Some men (especially nice men) put themselves into the silly mental trauma of trying to be the perfect man for just about every girl they're friends with. This never works because their friends all have different personalities, likes, dislikes, and needs. Now if they're smart chaps, they will realize this and cease their constant character shifts (though I can guarantee they'll still be thinking about it), and try their hardest to be themselves.

I will say it's a frustrating thing for nice guys; nice guys are bachelors for a long time, usually. They often have more... unique personality traits and habits that make them easy to be friends with, but often hard to remain with for extended periods of time. Nice men are often only able to be taken in doses. Measured doses. Leading them to feel very lonely, although often surrounded by friends. I'm sure this is a strong motivation in their desire to be the hero, the perfect man for some girl. Unfortunately, I think it may also be the reason they try to fix too much and remain in their singleness for such a long time. I could speak of one or two in particular, but I firmly believe this has more universal application.

No, I don't think nice men should start behaving like jerks (a good percentage of other men). I am not trying to fix things. I am merely pointing out an interesting (if sad) effect the course of our human psyches may take us. Unfortunately, in all my discussion, I don't feel like I have discovered the reason for why these things are the way they are. I even admit the possibility of all this being only my imagination (I do have a vivid one). However, my observations are quite extensive on the matter; I spend a lot of time observing people, and how they interact with others (including myself). I have had many conversations with men and women on the subject, and still have no answer for it.

Heh. Go figure.


*Quotes from The Bullwinkle Show:
Bullwinkle: Hey lady, are you in distress?
Natasha: Dis dress, dat dress, who cares? I'm distraught!
Bullwinkle (to Rocky): Do we help ladies in distraught?

So I'm directing this show...

Ever take on a project that really freaks you out?

Just wondering...

Heh.

I'm directing a show this fall, and let me tell you, it's interesting to have the table reversed. I'm used to the acting side more than the production side of the theatre aspect. But it's fun, I've got a great cast, and life is good.

Blah...

I'm just a little nervous about it, because even though I've had the training to do this, I've never done a full length production before. It's like being taught how to drive a car and then going on the freeway for the first time. I'll do what I can, be careful, and things will probably be fine, but there is still going to be a strong element of the unknown here.

Seriously though, if I didn't have the people around me that I do to help me out (and most of them are other students), I wouldn't be nearly so optimistic about this production.

THIS IS GREAT!!!!!

[shake it off, man, shake it off. just play it cool.]

LB