Try reaching out.

I've actually come to the conclusion that people in general are afraid of risk. So the effort to connect isn't usually there unless there is a sufficient amount of common ground to stand upon. If you're the only one giving, then you find yourself standing on unfamiliar ground, where you can get easily knocked about. People don't like that, generally. Some live for it, sure, but they're few.

So if you have the luck of finding common ground with people, and can maintain that ground, then you're much more likely to connect with others around you. That's a good thing. Unless, of course, you are a psycho intent on ruining the lives around you while seeming like a helpless innocent bystander. Then that's bad, and you should never connect with anyone who can't at least ruin your life while you ruin theirs. But I digress.

If you stop reaching out, in my experience, you will find that few will reach out to you. So even though it's hard to connect and make friends beyond the casual, working, or school-related acquaintance, if you don't try, you will never succeed (though I will admit the possible exception of someone refusing to let you disappear into the night, as it were).

But I'm sure I'm doing something wrong, for others seem to connect just fine; they are all drawn to each other, and willingly seek each other out. I kind of feel like that doesn't happen very often, which may just be the pessimist in me. I don't know. Loneliness is an annoyingly whiny thing to write, and I'm sure it's worse to hear. So the real question is: What steps are you taking to fix this apparent problem? How does one improve the ability to reach out and connect with others? Do you find what seems to annoy others and squelch it? Do you change your belief system to mimic theirs? Do you mold yourself to fit in the whims of the society that surrounds you, participate in their humor, view their entertainment, and in all things follow their lead? It cannot be so. It goes against all I know to do any of those things. Well, turning down what annoys others may not be a bad idea, but I don't know that I'd even go very far with that, provided the things you do are not offensive in nature, but just little personality quirks. I don't mean anything serious. But stifling your modes of expression can only happen so much before you either go into depression or explode. Sometimes both.

It's easy. Sliding to try and fit in can be easy. But then it is by no means worth it, because you won't be yourself and you'll be cheating both you and your surroundings. Don't give in to that. Don't change who you are unless it's really for the better. Not for better acceptance; better life. Don't change your life unless you're improving your character. Becoming a better person. I felt I stooped a little today. Tried too hard. It's the facetious humor. Saying things you really don't mean just to be funny. Like sarcasm, but usually more ridiculous instead of biting.

Seriously though, how can you improve connection to people who stand on such different ground than you? If you can't learn that, then you're going to be alone. Unless you have that lucky ground that is common to most people, as previously mentioned. How are you going to do it?